MariahCareyboobs: Cinema Cult Siren Joan Severance solo post

This started out as part of another upcoming Cinema Cult Sirens Triple Feature thread but the part with Joan Severance kept getting longer and longer finally earning a post of her own.

Of course the first thing I have to mention is that Joan starred in two non comic related movies as a superheroine namely in BLACK SCORPION ( 1995 ) and BLACK SCORPION II : AFTERSHOCK ( 1997 ) two tv productions that showed why superheroes who are not based on actual comic books suck in most cases.

There are exceptions like HEROES or THE INCREDIBLES but with the first one only the first two seasons were good and the other was just one big homage to the Fantastic Four. So it was partially comic related. Now although Joan had a pretty hot outfit in BLACK SCORPION and showed a lot of cleavage

the scripts just weren´t good enough and Hollywood still treated comic movies like the big cashcows they turned into after BLADE.

In the BLACK SCORPION movies Joan Severance play cop Darcy Walker, who is on patrol in Angel City. Because too many crooks escape the law she dresses up as a superhero all clad in tight leather. And in her domina outfit she finally feels sexy enough to finally have sex with her partner.

Now as a classy woman who seems a bit out of place in the softcore genre Joan would have deserved a real career but she can convince as a superhero. Although it is strange that somebody would cast a bodydouble for her only nude scene like people will not be able to see the difference. And who can you get as a bodydouble for Joan Severance ?

It´s like when I read that Halle Berry´s guy was cheating on her. With whom do you cheat on Halle Berry ? There is no possible rise. Halle Berry - that´s as good as it gets. But some tv guy just decided they had to get somebody else to do the nude scenes of a really sexy woman. That´s like getting a double for Klitschko in a boxing scene.

Be that as it may, while both movies were done by the same production team they are very different in style : the first one is much darker and actionoriented while the second one is very colorful, grell and tries weird camerangles and other strange gimmicks. That´s fitting for the villains of the second movie Aftershock and Gangster Prankster but the sequel still can´t achieve the first one´s quality level.

Laura Harring in one of my favorite scenes from the movie / ditto

Since I could do a post on Laura Harring alone I just haven´t the time right now but here are some links where you can find more clips and pics with Laura Harring , also some clips , clips again , more pics and finally also pics with Laura Harring .

Back to BLACK SCORPION, both movies still were successful enough - after running on Showtime they naturally made more money in video sales - that they turned it into a tv series. Roger Corman made a tv series that used the same plot on all episodes : some costumed bad guy wants to destroy Angel City until Black Scorpion stops him. There are between one and three hot pursuits ( always with lots of explosions ) and following the old Andy sidaris formula all female roles are played by playmates like Patricia Ford

or Shae Marks ( 17 in the whole series ). For the fans there are also guest appearances by Adam West, Sam Jones or Lou Ferrigno.

Since Joan Severance was not interested in the tv series Roger Corman tried to get Julie Strain but it seems the tv guys knew all of her naughty movies ( who would have thought ) so the former Miss Kansas Michelle Lintel was cast

who didn´t have Julie Strain´s box office pull - or her measurements - but who seems much more sympatico.

Julie Strain, Samantha Phillips and others in Dallas Connection

To keep expenses low they used every action sequence they could find in Roger Corman´s extensive movie archive for the series.

In theory this project couldn´t go wrong - superheroes were the new trend, there were dozens of hot playmates in costumes low on fabric, a few b - movie cult star as guests and lots of action. Enough to blow away series like RENEGADE or SILK STALKING, right ?

As if. It´s true RENEGADE is one of the worst series that ever was on tv ( although it DID have the ultrahot Kathleen Kinmont )

but on SILK STALKINGS you had such hot women like Mitzi Kapture

and Debbe Dunning

( we already covered that ) so there the BLACK SCORPION tv series fell flat.

The problem is that tv series and movie series are different. While you can do the same story over and over again with b - movie sequels because most fans just want more of the same the tv audience will change the channel after the third episode with the same plot. And cult stars and playmates don´t bring ratings on tv. And that´s why the tv series BLACK SCORPION looks more like a series of tv movies.

So it´s not surprising it never made it to german tv audiences.

Since I have already written so much about comics and Black Scorpion I´ll have to do the obligatory movie casting and the first thing that comes to mind is of course Marvel´s Black Widow a.k.a. Natasha Romanova.

With her playing a big part in the WINTER SOLDIER series now I always wondered what really went on between them while he was brainwashed. Did she abuse her power as his handler sexually ? Whenever he went missing they sent her to bring him back and I guess she used her secret spy special sex training on him.

On the other hand who knows if they only did those technical augmentions on his arm. Maybe he also got some special devices and some training to really wear out all those hostile female agents. On some occassions Bucky could use his warhead to overpower Black Widow.

In any case, now they are an item like they say and you bet Natasha has wrapped her lips tightly around Cap´s former sidekick´s cock. When those two go at it the action is hotter than in any porn movie.

And speaking about the Marvel universe I always wondered about the repercussions of CIVIL WAR for someone like Black Widow. As a former russian spy who would trust her ? Maybe Tony Stark would abuse his position in S.H.I.E.L.D. to " interrogate " her in the special soundproof cell where he attacks her pornstar body with his giant member again and again and again. All in the name of national security, of course.

both pictures above courtesy of Manga Caliente

Now back to Joan Severance, so far I have written quite a lot but nothing about the clip that started it all which is her topless scene from SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL.

The movie is not one of the better Gene Wilder movies, but it is still shown on tv and I guess for the scene where Joan is topless in the shower. I´m not saying naked because while she technically is naked in the scene we never get to see her lower body. Here are some screenshots :

Now for the clips, the first version is cut in two clips but the second version cuts off Joan Severance´s juicy boobs which is by far the worse crime. I mean it completely destroys the purpose of the scene which is to show Joan Severance´s breasts which are quite frankly spectacular.

joan severance in see no evil hear no evil in two clips 114 MB / ditto / wrong format ( boobs cut off ) 151 MB

Now you can´t do a post about Joan Severance without mentioning her best softcore movie LAKE CONSEQUENCE in which she plays a housewife whose sexual appettite gets ignited when she falls asleep in a worker´s trailer and embarks on a journey to debauchery and lots of sex. Of course the real sexbomb of LAKE CONSEQUENCE is the needy May Karasun who plays the living sexdoll. I swear if she doesn´t look like a blowup doll come to life I don´t know. You just want to push her against the shower wall and give it to her until your dick gives out.

may karasun and joan severance 75 MB / twice in one rar file ( don´t know why ) 151 MB / ditto / 52 MB / ditto / just the second part of the scene 25 MB

joan severance in lake consequence scene 2 - 50 MB

more clips with Joan Severance :

joan severance rar 107 MB / ditto clips from see no evil hear no evil, payback, red shoe diaries criminal passion, write to kill

joan severance almost pregnant 102 MB / ditto / ditto / ditto

joan severance dangerous indiscretion 66 MB

Now I´m not so sure about ILLICIT BEHAVIOUR, the movie from which the next scene is. It´s a crime story but it has been some time since I saw it and I couldn´t find reliable info on the web.

What is sure is that Jack Scalia plays her husband, a cop who gets suspended for use of excessive force and takes her frustration out on her ( I hope in the bedroom ). Now either she turns to two other cops for help who then start slam - fucking her brains out or she tricks her husband into killing her brother and then dicktames a guy from internal affairs to kill her husband. The thing with her brother is that when they were teenagers he started using his sister as a lovedoll and she can´t get him to stop. So every time he´s in town he hammers her like a cheap prostitute just for old times sake - if she wants it or not. Naturally her hubby´s not too thrilled that her brother is wearing out his favorite sextoy and kills him. I think she then tries to get the insurance money for her husband ( if it´s the movie where she gets doubleteamed by the cops she asked for help ) or the insurance money and the inheritance.

joan severance illicit behaviour 124 MB

Since we already talked so much about scorpions, for people of my generation Joan Severance is also best known for being in the SCORPIONS music video THE RHYTHM OF LOVE which may be tame by Todays standards but which wasn´t shown on Mtv before midnight. And only the censored version. You had to watch NACHTSICHT or MUSIKLADEN to catch the uncensored version.

Now I´m not totally sure which clips are the normal version and which ones are the uncensored version. I have watched them a few times and I´m just not sure. So I have included all versions I could find and I have marked the uncensored version where it said so on the download link. I hope that helps.

the rhythm of love uncensored version vob 192 MB part 1 / part 2

the rhythm of love uncensored version vob 108 MB / 192 MB in 1 / 2 / 3 parts / the rhythm of love featuring joan severance 106 MB / 84 MB / 71 MB / ditto / 17 MB

One of the reasons why I like writing this blog is that I find out new things like the fact that Joan Severance posed nude for Playboy. I guess I stopped reading the mag on a regular basis too early.

Holy gluteus maximus, Batman ! I swear if I had this buttshot of Joan when I was a teenager I would never have left the house.

Okay, maybe that´s a bit exaggerated since I did have quite the collection of porn magazines and I DID leave the house nevertheless. But I have seen quite a few photoshoots with actresses or celebrities and these pictures are awesome. I think I´ll have to see if I can find the issue at some convention or flea market.